I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
