I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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