someone get that fucking seahorse.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
