Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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