WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
