Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
love makes seman taste better
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
