I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
