I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
