we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
someone owes me an orgasm
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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