FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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