apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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