There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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