I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
