He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize