You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
