we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize