i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
