The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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