If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
