Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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