2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
