ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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