No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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