I should be sponsored by Trojan
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
