$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
