anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
