She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
