Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm always down for nudity.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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