I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
