There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
barbara walters just said penis...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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