I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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