So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
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thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
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Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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