I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
