Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
