just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
