I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
