is your mom at the bar?
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.