Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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