I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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