C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
