My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
