dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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