I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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