It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
