I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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