he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How's work?
Spinning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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