SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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