Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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