i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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