he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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