i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
