i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
