6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
