WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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