I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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