last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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