quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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