Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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