i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
