I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
