Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
