i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize