Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
