you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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