why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize