dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
