Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
