i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i now understand why vodka
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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